Accumulating Success

Success is often defined by accumulation.

We spend so many hours trying to accumulate knowledge, expertise, wisdom and ultimately wealth. . . that we’re blind to the negative accumulation building.

Hours of work in front a computer will ultimately lead to an accumulation of fatigue, stress, weight and stiff muscles that lead to aches, pains and injuries.

These accumulations are pretty common among professionals over 40. I’ve spent the majority of my career specializing in post-rehab training – bridging rehab and return to exercise or play – and the average client that gets referred to me by a practitioner falls into this category to some degree. I’ve gained insights into the differing plights clients have faced, but the birth of my son really gave me a new perspective.

Several months ago, I started accumulating neck pain from an increase in computer work and sleeping on the couch so I wouldn’t be woken up by my son. The pain increased over about a month and affected my workouts. I kept putting off treatment because of time; I felt like I had so much to do and very little time between work and helping to raise my son.

So, the question is what needs to be done about it? I’ll throw another long multi-syllable word out there for you — intentionality. More specifically, mindful intentionality.

Intentionality got you all the positive accumulations, sure, but not being mindful is what ushered in all that negative accumulation. People are mindful of work and family life, because of the responsibilities involved in managing them and then end up prioritizing themselves less. This lapse inevitably catches up to you once you’re in your 40’s, when recovery is much slower.

Change won’t just happen by hopping on a treadmill, either. Did you find success by just sitting in front of a computer?

Probably not. Success in every aspect of life needs a plan and hard work.

I’ve worked in gyms for almost 2 decades and I see so many mind-less workouts. Going randomly from machine to machine and finishing with some abs before leaving. There was probably a goal in mind when they signed up, but it was more likely a wish with no plan rooted in reality.

Think about when you started your career. You probably had some life goals, like owning a house, traveling or a certain bank balance. You thought of your outcome first and worked hard to achieve it, overcoming obstacles because your livelihood depended on it.

But life is different, and there are more obstacles that arise that can pull you away from your fitness goals when you have a family. This is why I like Gabriele Oettingen’s research that she shared in her book Rethinking Positive Thinking. Her method, WOOP (wish, outcome, obstacle, plan) is a great framework for anyone wanting to achieve a goal.

Vision isn’t enough and according to her research visualizing positive outcomes can drain motivation, because it allows your brain to experience the fantasy as a partial achievement and reduces the energy needed to pursue it.

Most people focus on broad goals like weight loss, building muscle, improved flexibility or better posture. You could be specific about metrics, but the metrics aren’t necessarily the outcome.

If you’re a parent in your 40’s with a young kid like me and just want to be able to play sports with them well into your 50’s without needing a Voltaren bath, or just be able to spontaneously race them to school without tearing an Achilles. Those are outcomes rooted in reality.

The best place to start in this scenario is with a physical inventory. Where are you physically now compared to 5 or even 10 years ago? What issues have you been dealing with currently and are they new or lingering? Are you able to do everything you’d like to be able to do – like play sports with your kids or friends? Is mobility causing you pain or discomfort or holding you back?

You’ll also need to think about how you’ll achieve those goals while balancing a busy schedule. What obstacles could come in the way? Long work hours coupled with balancing a family are probably number one and two, but more than likely, you need to dig a bit deeper. You may need to get introspective on this step.

Finally think of your outcome. Losing weight and having more energy are a start, but aren’t specific enough. Losing weight to fit into old clothes or having more energy to play with your kids after school — those are outcomes.

For me, the timing of my neck pain was a little apropos, as I was dealing with it just before Christmas break. I had a few weeks to be with family and work out my plan for the year. One big obstacle wasn’t time for me, it was prioritization. I was putting myself behind my family and business. I had time to finally get treatment and a new pillow — which is very affordable quick fix for neck pain — and started to prioritize my neck mobility.

As I mentioned in my Origin story, The John Candy Documentary I Like Me affected me and really started the vision for this newsletter. I started to envision playing with my son in a decade and the thought of being beaten by a ten-year-old in a foot race didn’t sit well. So, I decided to buy a new pair of lifting shoes and started Olympic lifting again after a 3-year hiatus. My breaks between sessions went from catching up on work, to making sure I did a workout. Anything counted, even as I was tired from dealing with a sleep regression.

What that meant was I needed to get work done before my sessions, if I wanted to spend my afternoons with my son. So I started to wake up at 4 am and do at least an hour of work before heading into to work. After a rocky January, my schedule set in and I’ve had the most productive quarter of my business’ 12-year existence.

Mindful intentionality helped you build a career and a family, so it should be used to help you build up the most important thing that drives those two things – your health.